Kegundahan dari penyaksian berkelanjutan (true story)

Ingin menulis sesuatu
Lagi lagi tentang kepedihan hati
Dan memang selalu aku yang salah
Selalu aku yang terpongah-pongah bangkit dan berusaha terbang.. jauh..
Tapi ku tak mampu

Ingin sekali ku tulis kata
Gambarkan segala rupa warna kepahitan
Yang harus ku kecap.. lagi dan lagi..

Aku salah, mungkin saja
Karena terlalu rentangkan tali penyekatan
Aku tidak bermaksud begitu
Aku tak memiliki tali itu
Tapi semua terjadi begitu saja
Ketika presumsi telah dikukuhkan
Asumsi telah dibenamkan dalam benak
Aku salah

Aku tidak sempurna
Dan aku tak pernah bias selembut dia
Yang kurasakan hanya lah
Kemirisan yang tercipta dari akar ketidakpedulian
Kegundahan yang timbul dari penyaksian berkelanjutan

Baiklah

Tak ada guna terus menerus menitikkan air mata………………………

become a TEACHER (awal2 jadi guru)

hai... ini adalah tulisanku beberapa tahun lalu waktu aku magang jadi guru SMP (now i've undergone a lot of experiences in teaching).. funny experience to keep in mind.. love it! so, here it is...

sudah lama ya aku ndak ngepost blog..cuz i’ve lots of things to do!!so many things =)
aku pengen cerita banyak..selama 1bln terakhir ini kegiatan utamaku adalah MENJADI GURU SMP..can u imagine that??seorang iqmy menjadi guru SMP..but there i was..teaching in classes is absolutely fun..
hari pertama tentunya aku nervous beradzz..meskipun baru MOS tapi aku tetep diminta datang cuz sapa tau tenagaku dibutuhkan dan bener ajah ada salah satu guru koordinator gugus yang ndak masuk so jadilah aku sbg wakil koordinator gugus dadakan. selama 3 hari MOS aku sempet nyampaikan materi ttg Tata Krama, well pelajaran klasik bangedz yach pi namanya jugah kewajiban..setelah MOS berakhir,,aku dpt uang saku sebagai pemateri MOS..nilainya c ndak seberapa tapi yang penting kan pengalamannya dan bonus2 laennya
pas MOS da kelar,,mulai lah pelajaran seperti biasanya..aku kebagian ngajar English kelas 7A,7B,7C,7D,7E dan 7F..tapi ‘resminya’ q ngajar di kelas 7F
kesan pertama :"duh ternyata ngajar anak2 pedesaan tu jauh lebih sulit daripada ngajar anak2 kota" why??????
karena:
1. anak2 desa kurang max dapat pelajaran English pas di elementary skul so alhasil aku harus ngajarin dari basic lagih -> pasangan S + to be..
2. pola pikir anak2 desa jauh beda ma anak2 kota..mereka hobinya ‘kotekan’, nyanyi2 lagu2 yang ‘aneh’ dan masih nganggep English itu pelajaran aneh kaleeee. thus, aku sempet mikir kalo mereka tu norak gituh..but at last i can try to understand their ways of thinking!! meskipun berat banget awalnya..gimana ngga’ berat,,pas qta lagih serius2nya ngajar eee anak2 cowok pada ‘kotekan’ ngga’ penting!!
selama kau ngajar,aku jugah pernah marah2..normal lah cuz anak2nya kalo ngga’ dimarah2in tuh malah nglamak..mskpn aku slalu minta maap kalo hbz marah2 =P
aku c udah berusaha sabar jugah tapi aku malah dpt kritikan dr murid2 cewek supaya aku sedikit ‘jahat’ sm anak2 cowok biar mereka tuh ngga’ ngeremehin akuh..it works a bit ^.^
well,in short,selama ngajar mereka pastinya banyak bgt kenangan2 yg ku dapat..mulai dr dpt miscall di tengah2 ngajar n yg misscall tuh ya muridku di kelas yg sdg ku ajar ituh..pfiuh..tyuz betapa senengnya mereka waktu aku ngadain games n yang menang dpt hadiah..makanya rata2 komen mereka pas di kertas "pesan & kesan" tuh gini bunyinya:
"bu iqmy tuh ngajarnya da enak habis dikasih hadiah & jarang marah2..orangnya cantik lagi!" ->ni beneran komen dr anak2 lho!
"aku senang bgt diajar bu iqmy soalnya bu iqmy cantik, kalau senyum jadi makin cantik + manizz. ibu iqmy juga sering ngasih permen gratisan."
"bu iqmy kalau ngajar enak, ramah, orangnya cantik jadi bikin nggak bosen dech belajarnya" -> maap kalau komen dr anak2q terkesan narsis but ini beneran komen dr mereka ljo ^.^v
pokokna……aku seneng banget udah bisa dikasih kesempatan bantu2 ngajar..meskipun cuman 1bulan..TAPI aku dpt bnyk bonus2 laen slaen pengalaman
1. aku dipercaya jadi pembina lomba story telling se-kab
2. aku juda dipercaya jadi pembina extrakurikuler "conversation" yang mana mengharuskanku untuk pulang tiap minggu cuz jadwalna tiap hari sabtu..berat tapi fun!!
3. pak kepseknya minta aku untuk ngelesin privat anaknya daaaaaannnn guru2 yang laen pun pd latah minta tlg jugah..
doakan aku sanggup yaaaccchhh cuz semester ni rencananya mikirin skripsi!!
segitu dulu dech…aku lagi di MLG niy pi cuman bentar cuz masih banyak yg haruz ku lakukan di rumah

i happened to see my angel

'puisi' ini aku post di Fs uda lama, but, again, someone complimented by saying "good words".. jadilah aku semangat memasukkan lagi di blog ini

happy reading


i happened to see a miracle,,
i happened to see an angel..an angel of the past..
yet the angel won’t see me..it makes no difference to my hopes..my dreams..
yet it’s been 40 days my heart stop beating the rhyme of love..
but it has nothing to do with my hopes…my hopes are everlasting..
it was wednesday, 26 december 2007..
it was the day i met my miracle,,though just for a while,,though the miracle didn’t give a second glance to me..but it was a wonderful minutes of my life
my heart gets better…
my heart beats againthe rhyme gets harder…
faster…l
ouder…
but it’s just for a while…
and really it makes no difference to my life…
even it build me up…i happened to see my angel…
my angel is my miraclemy miracle is my angel
just came across in my eyes….
but it was more than anything in the whole world!!
can i touch my miracle?it flies so high in the sky
can i hold my angel?
it’s just too mesmerize to hold
i can’t bear…………………………………………….
i wanna shout out loudshout my wound inside my pain…then my miracle came…
just yesterday..in my simple day…ordinary day..then it became an amazing day…
can i have a chance to see my miracle…my angel..just once more time..before i go far away…leaving my dream island..leaving my imagination…and move on..go to the reality in front of me.
i’m tired……………………………………………………………………………..

maNic morNing (oLd enTry to re-reaD)

i've posted this writing last year in Fs,, and someone complimented my writing talent.. (????).. so i publish it here, then i want to know your opinion bout it (is it true that i have writing talent??)

dimulai dari a week ago..
dunno what exactly has happenned to ME!!
absolutely have no idea….

starting from one week ago, i have no good mood to do anything.. is it because i’m exhausted?? well, i’m not sure and i dont really think so.i become so lazy. in the morning, actually i wake up at 5 but then i sleep again and then get up at 6. then, as you can predict, i get manic morning. such living in hell. i take a bath in a hurry. get dressed, prepare the things i need for the whole day also in a hurry!!dan sudah bukan keanehan juga kalo pada akhirnya aku tiba di sekolah di detik-detik terakhir menjelang masuk!kalo dulu,,pas awal2 masuk,sewaktu check-clock jam yang tercetak di kartu absensi is at around 6.30..but now,,it’s the opposite..jam check-clock slalu menunjukkan jam 6.43 or 6.44,,just 2 or 3 minutes before the red mark appears!!

besides,,i become so lazy in my life. jadi males berangkat ngelesi privat. for instance is today. last meeting, i’d changed the schedule of the private course. it should be on wednesday but i changed into TODAY. and what happen is I FEEL SO LAZY TO GIVE LESSON so i’ve told my students that this week’s meeting is postponed until next week. what a lazy teacher!sebenarnya i’m not proud of my condition. it’s embarassing indeed. but it seems i lose my light again…pfiuh…masih ada lagi ‘kemalasan’ku yang lain…males ngerjain skripsi..maybe it’s a classic story..being so lazy in doing thesis is normal (self-defence!!)karena pressumption itu, i almost never touch my thesis lately (almost one week). i’m too busy. really!! i ahve to go work in the morning until afternoon then i must teach private course until night. setelah itu, ngaji PPM. really feel the athmosphere of my room is at around 9 p.m

when i have those terrific days,,what else i can do beside taking rest, sleeping, or at least doing nothing special such as watching muvi or listenig to music. t’s such a refreshing time for me and i do need that.
maybe this is still “new” for me and i still need “more” time to adapt with this new life ^^
lately, i admit that i’m being so strange, i’m so lazy and i don’t have any purposes of life.but i have to “WAKE UP”,,rite?
any suggestion?

First siTe in Indonesia to successfully screen a paTienT ^^

this is my posting in Fs..

5 feb 09

Today I’ve found something miserable about my life : that I have no spare time for my own activity.. I have almost 0 minute to do something that has no relation with working matters or future matters. No doubt!! When I checked the scale of my workaholic madness, I was not shocked to see the result. Well, as it can predicted, the result : “hamper terjerumus dalam lubang kesuper sibukkan”.. =P

So, if my activities now can be mentioned as workaholic craziness, then, what will it be in the next month, when I have to enter classes for my master degree?? (maybe I should ‘sigh’ all over time but it won’t overcome my overload tasks,, it’s just be the barrier to keep my spirit..

In last two days, my life was hectic, cuz I had totally new jobs to handle and accomplish. The new research I handle now arrived in the screening step, which demands me to get busy with anything related to screening process.

Mulai dari contact pasien, mastiin jadwal dokter untuk menandatangani ICF & BILAG assessment, daftarin pasien untuk jadi pasien penelitian, mastikan setiap proses ga ada yg terlewat mpe nenteng2 kantong urin 24 jam dari ruang endoskopi ke Lab sentral =P
But, it’s fun anyway.. it’s true.. it’s fun!! Even if I can be honest, I do love this job. Bisa ketemu banyak orang-orang baru, dapat ilmu baru, pengalaman baru dan bikin aku lebih mensyukuri hidup.

And fortunately, my hectic days was appreciated and not in vain because my site for the research (RSSA) was the first site in Indonesia to screen patient, isn’t great? It makes me proud, and of course all study team (doctors, nurses, and lab analysts) also proud of this success =)

Sore ini aku baru aja nyelesaikan tugas2ku.
Besok masih ada other jobs to do,, can I?
Of course I can!!! =))
I’m sure I can!!!

Malang, 5 Feb 09
15:25