M I S T A K E

this is Thursday, the 10th of December, 2009. thanks God for making me still alive, blessful, and beautiful (hhmmm...).

not much i want to tell lately cuz i myself have no more story to share, to contemplate. is it good, indeed? no more story? or is it as a sign that i'm already dead inside?

i want to heal old pains, wounds, caused by many negative energies around me. it almost works now. but i still can't find peaceful place to stop a while and take a deep breath, just to keep my heart beating longer. no more.

i made mistake, for i am only a mankind. not an angel. mistake is our everyday companion, rite? but really, for every single path i choose, i always mean it, always take it seriously. but this time, foolish deed ever in life. making up my mind for the sake of prestige, pride, etc. as already predicted, it takes temporarily. now i realize that this path today is no good, or at least, not appropriate for me. if i continue to go ahead, i'll find my self in trouble. not trouble of trouble, but trouble of chasing my dreams, building my imaginary world.
too high my writing for early morning, but it feels relieving to write it here, all feelings and doubts. even i sometime doubt myself. it doesnt mean i dont have good self-esteem. but it's just as an expression of confusion. oh God, this is what i need when i'm talking to You, clear mind and heart. please purify my mind, my heart.. release negative energy from my body and i want to inheale more positive energy through my breath into my body.

i want to fix them all.. deleting every path i've taken and making new path, the better one.

bismillah..........................................................

no one can stop our further step to move on. not being slowed down and motionless due to failure. stop complaining. first, contemplating much, then acting much too.

G'day all

this is Thursday and hopefully will be a wonderful Thursday...

(still) Malang, 10 Desember 2009
09:25